"The Art of Camouflage" 23/1/06
Once again, each character in Neighbours follows their own individual timeline. Paul’s is a bit faster than everyone else’s this week and he’s already in Erinsborough hospital, getting looked over by Karl. Karl is not hiding the fact that he is pissed that Paul is alive and Susan is still missing, and like the professional he is, he starts asking Paul whether or not he believes in ‘Natural Justice’, and implies that Paul deserved to die in the crash. Karl being the only doctor in the world you don’t you forget it.
Alex, too, is out of hospital and back at Susan’s with the kids. They are discussing whether or not they should move back to their own place until Susan gets back. Rachel screams that Susan ain’t coming back and throws a phone, a la Russell Crowe. She’s got bitch written all over her and I love it.
Karl later goes to confront Paul at the coffee shop, blames him for the crash and then tells him about Izzy’s phone call. Ned pulls Karl off and says ‘Pick on someone your own size’. I’m like what? Maybe Ned is gay and is in love with Paul using Izzy as a decoy, I think this would make an excellent storyline.
Janelle has gone to Tasmania (read: the actress chucked a sickie), and there is nothing like getting over your sons death like going on holiday and Janae and Boyd are finally getting it on. While I am throwing it up. Brie thinks Janae is being callous by just getting on with life, but Joe Mangel gives Brie some salt-of-the-earth advice about life and death or something. I am just sickend with the fact that Janae and Boydy are together, what about Sky, come on she might be a cunt but shes not a whore bag sum soon to be izzy witch. Like Janae.
Karl then goes to Susan’s place and he and Alex have a bit of a chat and luckily for me, I was cooking dinner and I missed the whole conversation between them except for apparently they were notified that a female survivor was waiting at Erinsborough Hospital waiting to be identified. Oh my god, do you think it could be Susan?
Janae and Boyd are at the General Store talking about Dylan. Janae says she never really knew him, and Boyd says ‘maybe you should talk to someone who did’ and motions towards Paul, who is sitting just behind them acting as if he wasn’t responsible for a planeload of his friends floating in Bass Strait. So Janae goes and talks to Paul, who tells her what a great bloke Dylan was, and that he’d been thinking about giving control of Lassiters to him eventually. Oh puh-lease.
At the Hoyland’s Steph is talking to her stomach, which I estimate to be the average size of about 28 weeks gestation, give or take. As it’s her first pregnancy, I’d be inclined to say she’s even further along. No matter how fast Paul moves in his life, he’s never going to catch up to Steph. I think she’ll probably have the baby next week.
At the hospital Karl, Joe and Alex and the kids are all breathless and anxious to learn the identity of the survivor. Karl enters the room and pulls back the curtain and sees Susan.
He goes out and tells the Kinskis that it’s Susan and they are all relieved. Karl then announces loudly to someone, I don’t know who, maybe the nurses station or something, that the survivor is Susan Kennedy, and then has to correct himself.
The Kinskis go in to the room and it’s all hugs, tears and laughter as Susan tells them all about how she was washed ashore and lost consciousness, and how the Channel 7 chopper chills her in her sleep. Karl looks in from the outside at Susan loving her new family and starts getting a bit teary himself. Sorry Karl, but suck it up, she ain’t yours to cry over now, you pathetic wanker.
Joe brings Zeke home to the Scully’s with him so he can kiss Brie and have some hot chocolate. Seriously, if Brie were to lay on top of Zeke, they’d never find him again.
Karl goes back to Scarlet Bar to drink more alcohol. Max comes over to celebrate the news about Susan being found alive, and Karl confesses that he loves Susan and wants her back. It seems Max has conveniently forgotten that a day or two ago, Karl was publicly assassinating his own sister’s character. Whatever.
Over at the hospital Susan and Alex are talking about how terrified they were they’d they’d lost each other and they decide not to waste another moment and they are going to get married. We get a quick cut to Karl, who is stony-faced in Scarlet Bar. Maybe his alcohol problem has resurfaced? Lets hope so.
Oh and my neighbours award of the week goes to geekr0ck for noticing that paul got found first but he only has one leg. How did he swim? Will we ever know. Ah ones of lifes unanswered questions. Back on Friday with more neighbours fun and games from the rest of the week.