What Goes Up…”17/01/06
Ooh what must come down eh? Oh neighbors you old tease.
We open this episode with footage of someone setting the timer on a bomb and sticking it on the plane. Next to the bomb is a photo of Izzy and Paul cut into a heart shape. Does anyone recall the little heart-shaped photo frame key ring of Izzy’s that was in her car when she went missing? Remember it had a photo of her and Karl in it? She and Paul have been together for like, five minutes, how the hell has she managed to find the time to have a little ‘couple’ shot of them taken and cut into a heart shape? Who the hell does this?
Izzy, Elle and Paul are getting things prepared for the flight. Paul’s taking business calls and Izzy tells him to relax. I laugh, He smiles and says he’ll have plenty of time for both his girls, he promises, I’m still finding this thing a little fucked up.
David’s got some tuba lesions with some sort after tuba guy, YOU GO DAVE LIVE THE DREAM.
Stingray is shitting it. Someone phones Dylan; to take him away (thanks) oh I dreamed that. DON’T TELL SKY. Remember her not mentioning it before... Dylan your safe…for now… DEATH PLANE
Sky has a phone call…
Stingray freaks out about the call but Dylan reminds him it was Sky’s phone. Stinger can’t see why Dylan’s so calm, he thinks the cops will be there any minute, but Dylan says he wiped his prints off the gun like a good ‘lil crim...With tres greasy hair.
Harold gives up his plane tickets to David and Liljana, this is important, because now he’s going to have guilt. AGAIN
Stuart gets an anonymous tip from someone to go check in a park, and he stumbles across a gun. He brings it to the bad-Erinsborough-cop and says ‘Looks like the gun that was used in the servo robbery’. Did you know Stuart was an expert in TYPES OF GUN? No, neither did I. I wonder if he watches as much CSI as I do. I am also wondering why he isn’t on the death plane.
I have to point out that if it wasn’t for Lou Serena wouldn’t be going, LONG LIVE KING LOU.
Lil follows Serena into the lounge room (Sky’s on a mission elsewhere – looking for an outfit for Sez I think); for a chat while Harry tells David he’s so pleased that he and Lil are back on track. (Erm a bit late?)
Serena is upset about Connor, she goes to Liljana for relationship counseling, and Liljana gives her a little pep-talk about love and trust. The way she goes on, you’d think she wrote the book on fidelity. Lil not only has shithouse foresight (as evidenced by her lack of predicting her own death) but also has fairly sloppy hindsight as well.
Connor confesses to Toadie that he was the one that nicked the money from Bounce. Toadie is pissed and kicks him out of the house. I think. I couldn’t tell because I was too busy trying to figure out whether Toadie was about to laugh during this scene.
Karl has given two tickets to the Lassiters-death-plane to Alex and Susan. Susan is a bit ‘meh’ about spending time on a plane with Izzy and then later in a casino with her, but Alex talks her around with some hot-tub talk. Gross. Why are they going to a Casino for the Lassiters anniversary? Why not have it somewhere CRAZY, like, Lassiters itself? And why are only 20 people going on this big important trip? And why are these 20 people not people selected for their big-spending Lassiters patronage? These questions will keep me awake tonight, I can see it.
Paul’s offering Dylan a ride to the airport but Dylan informs him he’s not going, he didn’t think Paul wanted him there anyway. Paul apologises for being harsh, he was just scared of the thought of Dylan going to jail. “Who’s going to come out of there? Not you, jail changes you forever and I’m not going to let that happen to you.” Dylan replies that it’s no use, he’s headed for the big house, but Paul has other ideas. Is it me or has Dylan not already been in jail?
PAUL: Worst comes to worst? You don’t come home
GOOD ONE PAUL HAHA
Serena has come by to see Connor and senses that he looks a little worse for wear, but soldiers on. She says they should take a cab to the airport themselves to chat but he’s not sure if he’s going to be able to go. Serena’s a bit cut, she doesn’t yet know Connor’s a bikini-shop money stealer. He says he has to take care of something first and she frostily bids him adieu.
Toadie silently walks by and Connor meekly asks if it’s aright if he talks things through with Serena on the flight first and then he’ll turn himself in to the cops.
TOADIE: I don’t care what you do. I couldn’t give stuff; I’m not going to be there. And you know what? I don’t even care if you ever come back. Oh toadie toadie toadie. NEVER SAY THAT.
Prior to leaving for the airport, the Lassiters-death-plane revelers are at the Bishops having coffee. Lil looks at the bottom of her coffee cup and says lightheartedly, ‘Hmmm, I see nothing.’ And they all pass it off lightly, but we all know what an ominous sign this truly is. Go Neighbors writers – this is brilliant stuff.
Oh, they are also all dressed up in 40s fancy dress. They must have a pretty amazing fancy dress hire shop somewhere round Erinsborough. And I hope they all left fat deposits, because the shop is not getting those costumes back. Ever.
Susan gazes into the cup and says she sees hours and hours of misery and torture, “Oh that would be Isabelle.” Kapow! Keep those zingers coming, Suse! Harold answers the knock at the door, thinking it’s the taxi man, but it’s a very sharp looking Connor with slicked back hair and in a suit. Men in black anyone?
He and Serena compliment one another on their gorgeousness and Connor lets her know that he wants to tag along. They have a kiss while a horn sounds outside, the taxi has arrived. Connor, Sky, Susan and Alex all head out after saying goodbye to Harold, leaving the Bishops alone.
David thanks Harold for the tickets, and for everything he’s done for them, it’s going to be great to do something as a family again. Harold thinks it’s great to see them like this again.
As they leave, Harold gives David a big hug and says ‘I love you son, I know I don’t say that very often’ yada yada.
Group hug: group death. Lol
Stuart walks back into bad-Erinsborough-cop’s office and says ‘We got some partial prints from the gun, it matches a possible 7 suspects’. He hands a folder of printouts to the other cop, and he starts flicking through the pages. Stuart suddenly gasps when the other cop gets to Dylan’s profile. The other cop says ‘Who is it?’ and Stuart goes ‘It’s Dylan Timmons’. Because the other cop can’t read the sheet himself, I suppose. And seriously, this may have been raised before, but why doesn’t Dylan have a stupid nickname based on an aquatic creature like all the rest of his male relatives? Can anybody answer that one?
The servo cashier is called into the cop shop and identifies Dylan as the bloke who robbed him. So Stuart, the bad cop and some other extras dressed as police go and try to sting Dylan, but they only manage to sting Stingray. Heh.
As the cops are interrogating Stingray – again, no other Timmons or Scully’s are around to witness the SWAT team breaking down their doors, which is very convenient – Toadie just happens to drop round and tells them they are not to ask him any more questions, and he asks them for a moment alone with his ‘client’. Stingray then confesses everything to Toadie.
Lil and David are checking out the plane. David wonders if it looks safe. Of course it is, y’ know, ‘cept for the deadly device on board and all. Lil pays him out on his paranoia and tells him to relax and have some fun, giving him a kiss. Hahahahahahaahahaha
At the airport, the Lassiters-death-plane revelers are in a hangar drinking champagne and having canapés. Connor (who has by now made up with Serena, and you should thank me for not covering that whole nasty business) is offering to get everyone champagnes. Sky says ‘yeah, hell yeah I’ll be up for some of that’. Because the Neighbors writing crew have forgotten that Sky looks down her nose at the drinking of the alcohol.
After the plane takes off, Paul takes Dylan aside and tells him that the pilot has been informed that the police will be waiting to escort him off the plane when they land. But then Paul tells him that he’s not going to let him go to jail. Like Paul has any sort of power these days anyway. Whatever.
Serena notices that Connor looks apprehensive and tells him there’s no rush, they’ve got a lot to talk about and it’s going to take a while but they’ll get there. “What did I do to deserve you?” Connor smiles. “Nothing,” Serena smiles back, “I just couldn’t live without you.” I laugh laugh laugh
Tomorrow night: Plane will crash. People will die. Not enough people die, but it’s a good start.