bluelemontree (bluelemontree) wrote in ukneighbours,

week ending 13/01/06

I have a stupid amount of work to do. Neighbours bugged me all week. Did it you? thought so.

Ah here we go...(i should be in the chemical brothers or something)

Connor among thieves: 9/01/06

Stuart comes over to take down the details but looks a bit suss at Connor's story. As anyone would: "So you only got a look at one of the guys?" "Uh, yeah, the other one was at the door- I mean he was the one that hit me from behind." "But your injuries look like you were hit from the front." "Well, I was. Um, it, it all happened so fast!" SOME SERIOUSLY SHIT ACTING GOING ON HERE.

Moving onto an even more shit storyline where Max tells Steph about the vintage scotch and mentions the cost of it was $800. He's quite open about it all! Steph is takenaback but Max says it's number four on his "list of things to do before the baby is born". Steph seems to accept this readily(!) Yep, that's fine after having to mortgage themselves to the hilt and get bank loans to buy Izzy out of the Scarlet Bar, a child at private school and a new baby on the way. Ahem. Yea right.Steph tells Max she hasn't thrown out the box. Instead she went to the library and "did some research" and discovered that a farmhouse was once built on their property and that the family had 3 babies that died within 5 years. She thinks the box has something to do with it and that it's a curse. So she thinks they should move. Naturally. When Max points out that that's a bit much, she brings up the whole "but our baby is SUCH a miracle, it's sooo special" saga again. Max just rolls his eyes. So do i.

Some tin action from hazza (seriously he still looks really coked out of his face) and some band shit but i dont care so im not writing about it. Then some Boyd and Janae stuff but there is enough of them later in the week.So no im not updating them. I might ass the "god shes beautiful" line from Boydy in his head about Janae nearly made me sick. No really enough.

Toadie tells Ned he likes drinking vodka and cranberry and that so do Elton John and George Michael. I have to say personally i dont so if you ever buy me a drink dont let it be that. Ned still looks puzzled and then asks Toadie if he's gay. Toadie coughs and splutters before probably running home to lift some weights and watch wrestling and do lots of other manly things.

Stuart asks Connor if he saw the weapon, but he claims to be confused - he was bending down behind the counter when he was hit from behind. Stuart says the position of the injuries look like he was being hit from the front. Connor says it is all a bit of a blur and he still feels dizzy. Serena takes him off home.

At the bikini shop, Toadie tells the others that they can't get the stolen money back on insurance because two people have to take the money to the night safe and that didn't happen. He tells Serena it's her fault and she should have been following procedures. Serena gets upset and i laugh. HARD. i cant wait to watch her die.

Then there is some shit with carmella and connor but i am sick of this storyline so no.

Paul tells Max that he thinks Izzy has relapsed - based on her behaviour he thinks she's back on the pills. Paul wants Izzy to go into rehab, but he's also afraid that pushing the issue will put her further on to a downward spiral.Shame Dr Karl hates them cos he would come in real handy around now i mean after all he is like DOCTOR OF THE WORLD.  

Lou gives David his weekly lottery ticket, but he says he's given up gambling in becoming a Salvo. Harold says there's no harm in it - David's not a Salvo yet. David relents and says he'll give the dream one last crack! He couldnt possibly win? could he? WTF do you think.

For no apparent reason, Lil is over at Steph and Max's and sees the box by the bin. Because she has all special witchy gypsy powers and shit, she insists on "sensing the vibes" of it and says it appears to be a ritual for bringing good luck to parents expecting children. She thinks they should replace the box where it was. They say that they will. What a pile of crap for a storyline. Let me guess, next week they find a secret magic land in the back of their wardrobe?

"someone" anonymously drops off the money in a bag and leaves it outside the shop with an apology note. Which basically says, "Sorry we took the money. It was a bad idea."  Yea cos i know so many thieves who do this. Like when my friend had her bag nicked they came back the next day saying sorry i didnt mean it, im sorry have it back. IDIOTS FOR FUCKS SAKE. 


Ned tells Stuart about Toadie acting strange. Stuart says it's because he thinks Ned's gay and Stuart is starting to think he is as well. He tells Ned that's okay. And that's it. Is anyone else bored of this yet?

Take this mob and shove it - no comment neccessary - 10/01/06

Same shit storyline with connor etc. BORING

Some crap about muckup day. We all know its going to be shit so why am i recapping it. im not.

Izzy gives Carmella some sound advice about how truth is the biggest relationship killer. Oh Izzy how i hate to love you. But hey you might well be onto something.

seriously this espisode was shit. some stingray shit. 

Connor is trying on ugly ties for Serena for her graduation party that night. She still goes to school? Really? Jailbait. 

Connor asks Carmella why she returned the money to Bounce. She tells him she did it so the cops would get off his back. He tells her he wants to talk to her mafia connections himself but she assures him to just trust her and leave it all to her.

Later on at the year 12 dance, which of course is being held at Scarlet Bar, because lets face it, there’s nowhere else to go in Erinsborough, Connor gets a phone call from Carmella, who tells him her connections aren’t very happy and want to see her now. She asks him to come along for support. Connor tells a very anxious Serena that the phone call was about the alarm going off at Bounce, and that he’ll be back soon. I am unsure as to why the security company would call Connor - a lowly employee, instead of Serena of Toadie, who actually own the shop.

Anyhoo, he goes along with Carmella, who eventually cracks and confesses that the whole mafia story was a lie, and that her mum lent her the $50,000. The next day, Connor visits Serena at school - because it would be way too convenient for him to talk to her somewhere else, say, at the house they share or something. He admits everything that went on with Carmella, which is basically nothing, and Serena runs outside crying.  hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Dylan and Stingray are still all tense from the robbery last week, and are finding it difficult to study for their final exams. Stingray is especially freaked out, and almost cracks and admits the whole thing to Sky. Luckily Dylan walks into the room as Stingray is about to confess, and ends the conversation. Sky is still suspicious. As she should well be, considering she was there when Dylan got the phone call from Stingray telling him he’d been kidnapped - I’d really like to know what explanation he gave to Sky after he rushed off to save his little brother, and why she never questioned him about it. Huge and very messy loose end there for the Neighbours writers.

During the year 12 dance, (where I might add, nobody is actually dancing) Sky makes a speech and thanks all the teachers for their support during the year. She presents Susan with a present from year 12, which turns out to be a framed caricature of Susan which looks nothing like her. Susan then announces an award for the student who has “risen to the challenge”. I predict it will be Stingray, and of course, it is. What a shock. As he is accepting his award he still looks all depressed and tense. Karl looks on in concern - he’s a shrink, ya know.

 Boyd spends muckup day squirting Janae with a water pistol when really he’d prefer to be squirting her with something else. She gets all bent out of shape that she’s all wet (in more ways than one) haha

Eat surrender: erm yea. 11/01/06

 Boyd keeps an eye out while she changes her clothes behind a parked car outside the school. Going into the girls bathrooms would be too easy I guess. Boyd pervs at her in the side mirror of the car and we get to hear their inner thoughts again, which is no fun at all.

Dave wins the lottery. OMG IM IN SHOCK.

Hazza (obv) coked up gives his ticket to dave and lil for the death plane AHAHAHAHAHAHAH this is important cos now hazza is gonna have guilt.  Dave is driving a sports car. SNORE.

Izzy finds her pills in Elle’s bag. Now what is beyond me is why elle doesnt have her bag? im sorry but this seems pretty stupid to me. no VERY FUCKING IDIOTIC. the girl clearly has no brain. Id be much better at spiking izzy than this. But id be spiking serena anyway. She decides to win Paul’s trust once and for all, so when Paul and Elle get home, she apologises for her behaviour and tells Elle she wants to be friends. She also says she has a hankering for some of Elle’s cooking. Paul is impressed and says they’ll have a celebration dinner. Please explain why ell is such a good cook?hmmm

Connor then tells Carmella it’s over with Serena. Feeling guilty, she tells him he doesn’t owe her any money and that the $50,000 is a gift. Shit, I wish I had friends like that… well… except for the whole sneaky plotting thing… Carmella kisses Connor and then of course Serena chooses that minute to walk in to tell Connor she’s moving out. She storms out of the house, and Carmella runs after her and tries to save Serena and Connor’s relationship. AS IF.

Boyd finally manages to arrange a date with Janae, but she’s still trying to play hard-to-get, so she brings Janelle along with them. The look of horror on Boyd’s face isn’t nearly horrified enough.

There is apparently loads of homeless people in erinsborough as the bishop family are at the soup kitchen.Im sorry but it doesnt look like a place where loads of homeless people would hang. But hey maybe hazzas coke source is being made known to me.

They sit down to dinner, and Izzy complains of her food tasting a little bitter. Paul says his is fine, so he tastes some from her plate and almost gags. He then finds a pill which is not hidden very well, in Izzy’s food. All i can say is why in gods name wasnt her food bitter when elle was spiking itr before? HMMMMMMM NEIGHBOURS WRITERS

'Dave new world' : hahahahahaha NOT FOR LONG.... 12/01/2006

Paul immediatly accuses Elle, and then searches through her bag where he finds Izzy’s pills. Izzy manages to get Elle to admit that she had been putting pills in her food, and Elle responds by telling Paul that Izzy has been seeing Ned behind his back. Paul takes Izzy’s side and tells Elle she has to go back to Gayle. But then as she’s about to leave, he has second thoughts and tells her she can stay. Gee it’s hard to leave Ramsay Street - you can’t even get thrown out. BORING.

 Ned admits to Elle that he’s just letting Toadie think he’s gay so that he won’t have to tell him his actual secret. Elle convinces him to tell her the secret, which he does, and she laughs at him. Unfortunately we don’t get to hear what the secret is, so I can only assume that it’s so dull that the writers think we’ll be so sick of this storyline by the time we hear it that we won’t care anymore.

I’m sick of Joe’s stupid Bouncer storyline, so I refuse to bother wasting my time recapping it, or your time having to read the shite.

Lou sees the winning lotto numbers and realises that David must have won. He tells Lil, who has no idea of David’s win. She proceeds to spend the rest of the week trying to get David to tell her without telling him she already knows. David however, spends the whole week realising how lucky he is to have a loving family and a roof over his head. Granted, it’s not his own roof, and there is something a little pathetic about being mid-forties and living with your dad, but nevertheless, he feels lucky. So he decides to donate all his winnings to the Salvos - still without telling Lil about it. It’s only after the money has been donated that he tells Lil, who pretty much goes off her nut. But then after he explains all his reasons, she too realises how lucky they are, and that’s the end of that.

Meh, whatever, they’re all gonna die next week anyway.


 Mister Mo Jangel: ah neighbours, neighbours, neighbours, neighbours. 13/01/06


Joe finds Janelle’s book on the computer. Now if I wrote a book slagging everyone I knew off I think I might hide it a little better but hey Janelle has less brain cells than I do when I am on acid (I assume I am not Harold you know) Lyn notices she has used the new towels and looks pissed I am too concerned with the fact Lyn is trying to be Sharon Osborne to notice.


Sleepover club girl and rat boy are asking Susan why she doesn’t love their dad fucker Alex anymore. She says “I am in love with Karl Kennedy the doctor of the world and I hate kids” so fuck off.

Some bouncer 5 shit, which you know I don’t recap. Kill Joe keep the dog I say. Then Joe send the book to everyone in lyns address book “erinsmail” I want to be on that address book. When does Lyn email people, and since when do you know everyone on your streets email address? No please tell me I want to know. You don’t? Thought so.  

Karl, Max and Steph are discussing the email they have received. Karl or Dr Karl Kennedy is furious at being described as ‘a lecherous alcoholic who can’t keep his hands off young girls and is secretly in love with the local hairdresser’! I feel like shouting ITS ME ITS ME Max or Tex Royland ‘the handsome but stupid local barman keeps his crazy sister locked up in a cage and can’t father any more kids because there ain’t no swimmers left in the pool’! Im sorry but im like its not fiction. I bet max would love to have izzy in a cage.

Janelle is trying to give Bree love advice and the first thing she needs to do is to get rid of Rachel and despite Bree’s protestations, she’s going back to school to do so! Now my advice would be SLIMFAST and if that didn’t work find some feeder website and join that for some loving. In the corner, Alex apologises for what Susan had to say to the kids earlier and promises to tell the kids once he’s had a definite timeframe (im praying its hours) from Karl after Karl has spoken to the specialist. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE SPECIALIST. KARK IS THE FUCKING SPECIALIST OF EVERYTHING MEDICAL!!! DON’T RUIN MY DREAM. FUCK YOU NEIGHBOURS.,
Some joe and Janelle book shit. This was funny but now I am tired of it. Snore.

Zeke asks if Bree is feeling OK and in her head she can hear Janelle’s voice telling her ‘that nothing interest more than disinterest’ (this stupid voiceover shit is doing my nut in)and so ignores him. Rachel asks if he’s upset her again and he claims he hasn’t. Janelle’s voice now tells Bree that a note will soon follow and bang on cue a note from Zeke appears. The voice tells her to put it in her lap without reading it, which she does, and Zeke wonders why she isn’t reading the note. The voice now tells Bree to select a hidden pre-written note and put that on the desk and read it. Bree now quickly gets out of her seat and calls Zeke “a scumbag” and naturally the teacher - shock horror someone other than Susan! - wants to know what she is doing. Bree tells the teacher Zeke wrote her a note and the teacher (after reading the note) tells him that it is crude and unacceptable and gives him an hour’s detention! I would be calling him ratboy but I forgot to so just cope with the zeke shit for now. Zeke is confused about this to say the least. The voice now tells Bree to move onto the next plan, which turns out to be insulting the teacher and she ends up with an hours detention too as the voice now says, an hour by herself and Zeke the freak! Oh wow I would have got fucking suspended for that shit.

 Alex is reading a poem when Karl approaches him after taking to his specialist. I think karl is just trying to act like he isn’t the specialist. They chat idly before Alex asks Karl how long he has got. I pray it is hours.

 Acid Women Janelle is chasing Joe. I snore harder. 
The teacher sets Bree and Zeke work to do for their detention before leaving and he wants to know why she called him ‘a scumbag’ and what did the note she gave to the teacher really say. Bree says the note was a joke saying he’d like to make out with her. (detention?)Zeke is aghast at this and wants Bree to tell the teacher the truth, which she refuses to do, so he threatens to tell her himself. After what she said im sure she would have a worse punishment, and who the fuck gets a joint essay as a detention. NEIGHBOURS WRITERS.

Acid Janelle is moving back into
Sharon sorry Lyns. I am not impressed. Put them on the death plane I say.

Bree tries to get Zeke to participate in the work the teacher gave them but he is still sulking even after she apologises. To get him to participate in something, she writes a sentence on a piece of paper and folds it over so he can write the next part. He doesn’t respond but Bree does this anyway and hands him the paper, to which he writes a bit before the teacher comes back in to see what they’ve done. Zeke has written some shite on some book the teacher hasn’t even read. YEA FUCKING RIGHT. Send him to some shity school Summer went to and be done with it. 

Alex comes in and gives Susan some good news - the tests have proved that he has longer than first thought and they have a kiss and a hug to celebrate. They cry tears of joy. I cry because he isn’t dead yet.


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these are great, but could you put it behind an lj-cut? <*lj-cut text="text"*> (remove stars)
It's just really long, and you do have a massive spoiler at the end which I didn't really want to know.