bluelemontree (bluelemontree) wrote in ukneighbours,

Week Ending 6/01/2006

Sorry its a bit late, it was that shit i didnt wanna bother. the only good thing this week was bree and her chocolat book with her chocolates inside. I really wanna book like that must have taken her ages...anyway onto this! OH hope you all had a new year and didnt get as drunk as i did...


“Spiggin' hufters” 3/1/06

after last weeks good titles i was expecting some goo'uns. this is shit. Please dont say caketaker to me ever again. EVER. thank you.

so anyway

As you may remember, we ended last week with Stingray and Dylan being forced (well i say forced)  into the car by Angry Ex-Con Roo and his unnamed yet equally angry ex-con friend.Who i actually think looks like a delinquent i have seen out and about.  Dylan tells them to let Stingray go but they tell him to shut up and drive. They also tell him to look under the seat and there's a gun in a bag. Oh my a gun.

Janelle tells Janae that they can move back to Lyn's. Meanwhile at the bar Joe points out all the reasonable arguments to Lyn of why they shouldn't but she says he can't boss her around. (is it me or is lyns hair today looking like a shit version of when sharon osbourne had hers like that?)Then he storms out. Steph comes over from behind the bar to talk to Lyn and they go for a walk. She tells Max to go after Joe. Good job they aren't working and there aren't customers or anything.

Janelle and Janae get boxes and start packing up their caravan. Janelle is about to throw out a pair of thongs saying she won't need them in the shower anymore. Janae points out that Joe showers at Lyn's. Janelle silently puts them back in the box.(the one thing i agree with her on)

The Jailbird mobile gets to a petrol station and they say Dylan has to rob it. In daylight. Dylan says he can't do it. They say he has to. Obviously they want him to get caught. Dylan realises he doesn't have a choice. He walks in and puts on a pair of sunnies and a hat. He walks up to the checkout and the guy says he'll have to scan them. Dylan calmly lifts his jumper and shows the guy the gun and tells him to empty the till. The guy does. Dylan takes it and says it's nothing personal. I almost expect him to add, "nice doing business with you."

Joe talks to Max and Lyn talks to Steph and we have jumping camera action. Joe doesn't want Lyn to think he's a doormat. Lyn doesn't want Joe to be able to push her around. Steph and Max both say to be honest and firm. Joe comes over and tells Lyn he misses her. She says she missed him too. Lots of mushy talk about how they care about each other more than anyone else and Lyn says she's going to tell Janelle they can't move back in. Then she's interrupted by Janelle and Janae noisily moving boxes in and saying loudly how happy they are to be back there. blah blah this is nearly as shit as the bouncer 5 storyline.

Steph tells Max she thinks the baby's room feels creepy every time she goes in there. Max thinks it might be rising damp. He says he'll check under the floorboards. Then he does and surprise, surprise, finds an old box. He pries it open and there's a whole heap of junk in there, including a pair of booties, a bolt and a horseshoe. They take it to the general store. Lou says it just looks like crap but Harold looks a bit creeped out and tells them to get rid of it. ( some shit storyline will follow) hazze continues to look really coked out at the moment.

Lyn tells Janelle they can't move back in. Janelle assumes it's all Joe's doing. She says she's already checked out of the park and won't get another good spot. She loudly tells Janae they can't stay and she doesn't know what they'll do. Lyn sighs and says they can park the bus out the front of her house if they want and use her facilities. Janelle cheers up. I don't know why Lyn thinks she's any better off, really. They'll still be coming and going all the time and costing her money.

The Ex-cons count the money. It is a total of $280. Woo-hoo! Then they kick Dylan and Stingray out of the car. Stingray says they should go to the police. Dylan says they can't.At this point the story is already boring me.

we had some other shit with boyd and janae i think, welll you know how i feel about that one.

"No hiding face" i feel like james blunt. THIS IS A SHIT TITLE. 4/01/05

Susan asks Lyn to be in her bridal party. Oh, how convenient. Now she can still do a shit bridesmaid hairstyle but at least it will be on herself. Susan says Lyn is lucky to have Joe and calls him gorgeous. Has she ever actually looked at the guy? They both gush about how blessed and lucky they are. Karl comes in and says he's sorry, assuming Alex has told Susan. He hasn't and Susan thinks Karl is still jealous. Im loving Karls shirts at the moment.

Rachel tells Bree that Zeke loves her but then admits she set it all up and pushed him into it. Bree gets upset and says they aren't friends anymore. Rachel goes back to Susan's and yells at Zeke for not doing better. Zeke just shrugs and says he doesn't understand women. Alex defends him and tells him it's no good to lie to people. And then realises he has to tell Susan about his cancer. DIE ALEX DIE. AND WHILE YOUR AT IT TAKE ZEKE! who names their kid Zeke? and why are rachel and zeke in the same class? BRING SUMMER BACK ALL IS FORGIVEN!

Karl comes to school to tell Susan about Alex. He goes serious and says he will break his Hippocratic Oath and then tells her Alex has lymphoma (see here he uses the normal term not the BLSHFHFHSHHF TERM)  and will die. Susan goes all rigid and tells him to go away. Karl does but I bet he does a little "do-do-do-do-do-DO!" conga style dance in the hall because he got to be the one to tell her the news.

Susan comes home. Alex sends the kids to the general store for tea.Not one to be funny but for someone so overprotective he lets them wonder in erinsborough at stupid o clock) He tells her about his cancer and she doesn't say she already knows. Susan jumps on the miracle cure bandwagon and says she's sure something will come up to cure him. Does anyone else remember when Madge died? The same thing happened then. Harold was convinced God would save her. And Susan and Alex certainly aren't half as religious as Harold. BAD NEWS ALEX.

The Timmons and Joe watch TV. In that usual amazing way, that whenever someone turns on the TV, it's right at the point where the important news story is on, the report on the hold-up comes on right away. Nobody recgonises Dylan however although the security footage they play looks quite clearly like Dylan wearing a hat and sunnies.

Alex tells Susan it's no good being hopeful. They both cry.Alex crying nearly made me laugh. Susan get back with Karl you moron.

Janelle worms her way into all her spawn eating Lyn's food for dinner, and then nearly sleeping inside by claiming they are all sick, but Joe points out that Oscar might catch something if he is around them. Lyn hadn't thought of that and says they can't stay. Out in the van Janelle seethes that Joe outsmarted her. Ah the pain of the bus. How a bus fits outside in a small close i shall never know. dont people complain? and poor lou stuck in his tent.

Alex tells Susan he knew he was going to die when he proposed to her. He wanted her to be the new mum for the kids. Alex says he needed to make preparations. He plays the "I'm dying" card. Susan cries. I laugh.

Gay it isn’t so: wow an actually half decent title - 5/01/05

Alex hastily tells Susan he said that all wrong, for fucks sake no he didnt.  Susan tearfully asks why he wants to hurt her so much but Alex replies he doesn’t, and that he’s only now accepting that he’s going to die yea and you want some lonley bint to look after the kids. RICH ALEX RICH.

Toadie tells Ned he's among friends and all the other clichés. Ned looks confused. Toadie tries to convince Stuart again : FED UP ALREADY WITH THIS SHIT STORY LINE. Later he buys Ned a Cher CD for Ned and tells him he wants his help in attracting more men to the shop. Toadie is two seconds away from volunteering to appear on the Mardi Gras float. Hey, he has already got a Lycra outfit.BORING COS WE KNOW HE ISNT GAY. moving on...

there is some shit between this but i dont care.

Karl comes to Susan's and she says they are both really unlucky in love. Karl defends Alex and says he was always saying how much he loved Susan. He says Susan shouldn't close her heart to him. It's basically conversation love where they crap on about love and how they used to be and Karl makes gooey eyes at Susan and she sighs. GET BACK TO FUCKING GETHER.

Karl comes to the bar and Izzy tries to be polite but he tells her it will be a cold day in hell before they can be friends. He leaves. Izzy looks upset. Elle tries to comfort her but she snaps at her. Ned goes into the office to talk to Izzy. Elle listens at the door. He talks about when they kissed and says he's never felt like that about anyone before. Ned leaves. Elle sees him come out and goes in and tells Izzy she knows about Ned and she won't let her hurt her dad. Obviously unaware that Paul himself has hurt a few people in his time. BORING.

Elle makes Izzy a cup of coffee and spikes it with something. Izzy says she can't drink it because of her diet. Paul says he'll have it and Elle panics Roll on the the crash cos quit frankly these story lines are shit.

Funniest moment today. Bree and the book chocolat i nearly pissed myself. ENOUGH OF JANAE AND NED ALREADY AND THE SHITTY DOPING IZZY BANANZA. thank you.

“Fool if you drink it’s over” does this make any sense? NO. 6.1.06

Elle bumps Paul (in a really comic way) and makes him spill it on himself. Now you would think if someone bumped you and made you spill boiling hot coffee all over yourself, you would be in some pain and possibly burned. Not here. Paul just looks mildly annoyed that he has to change his shirt. Apparently his leg isn't the only thing that's artificial.

Some crappy thing with serena and the bishops. anyone notice how they are trying to make them this super happy family at the moment cos they are gonna die. Meanwhile making harold really coked up.

Coke head goes on about the box etc (this is such an obvious example of how we are going to be dragged through this storyline) Joe looks at Max's wish list and points out that the next item on it is buying vintage scotch. Max says he can't. Joe says he should. We all know what happened last time Max did an item on his list and this one is gonna cost him serious money. He's already the sole income earner paying for two kids' education, as well as all the costs for the baby,what a fucking joke.

Elle makes a cup of tea for Izzy and one for herself. Izzy says she'd rather have Elle's and grabs it. Elle is forced to tip hers out: give it up already.

Connor meets Carmella at the general store. They order coffee and muffins (a ploy for him maybe from her or is that just my sick mind?) He tells her he doesn't love her anymore. She says he has to start making repayments on his loan now. He says he can't. She gets snappy. Harold comes over with their food and drink and Carmella thinks he's watching them. She yells at him and leaves. I don't know why Harold even bothers making people's orders. I mean, how often do we see them order stuff and then leave without eating or paying?

Max buys the $800 scotch at the bar with Joe. Paul sees it sitting on their table and says he drinks it as well and he didn't think Max would. "What does that mean?" asks Max angrily. "It means he's calling you a tightwad," Joe supplies helpfully. Max snootily calls for some crystal tumblers. Although you would think he could have gone and got them himself seeing as he owns the bar.

Elle makes dinner and gives Izzy her plate. Izzy puts it at Elle's place. Elle sees it and says it was meant for Izzy. "They're all the same, aren't they?" Izzy asks coolly. Paul  gets annoyed. Izzy dares Elle to eat it then. Elle looks uncomfortable and then Paul grabs it and dumps it in the bin. He thinks Izzy is still taking the pills and tells her she has to go to a rehab clinic. All i could think while i looked at this scene was mmmm food in actually looked pretty tasty. Still i reckon paul is a bit of a twat for not noticing all the stuff.

Connor and Serena are counting the till. He says he'll take it to the night safe alone even though two people are meant to do it. She agrees and goes on to meet her parents for tea. Then he gives it all to Carmella. Im sorry but HOW LIKELY IS THIS THE ONE DAY HE GOES ALONE HE GETS ROBBED - WAKE UP SERENA.

Karl, Joe and Max crack open the scotch. They have a big ceremony and finally take a sip. Max and Karl sound like they were wanking off. Joe spits it out and says it tastes awful. All class.

Serena and her parents are eating and waiting for Connor. They are wondering where he is, and then suddenly he comes in with all his clothes ripped saying he's been robbed. He's done an even shitter job than Jim Carrey in Liar Liar. At least he looked half convincing. Connor has basically smeared blusher on one of his cheeks and ripped his shirt a tad.

Pretty shit week i am hoping for a better one next week. Dont worry kids i think the first plane muder crash special will start a week on tuesday so you all have to look forward to. I did cry like a jellied eel but i had been on the beers so i would forgive me if i were you. Next week more exciting stuff.

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